Piece, peas, peace, piss!

In most of small restaurants in India owners, to attract foreign customers, make an effort to prepare an English menu instead of the usual blackboard or piece of paper in Hindi or local dialect.

But obviously, they do it in “Jugaad” style, so just look around for anyone they have heard of is speaking English (be it cousin, uncle, neighbour’s son etc) and give him the job.

As a result, you’re getting a fantastic read that helps you beat (bit, beet?) overly extended waiting time before your khanna comes.

It can be amazingly creative, unexpected and hence – amusing. There are few words that seem to cause the most confusion. Chowmein for example usually turns into chow main, chamin, or even – and I’m not making this one up – cowman!

But my favourite menu by far was in Jaisalmer, in a roof top restaurant just next to Governmental Bang Lassi Shop and this charming place:

The menu of that restaurant was a real feast for eyes, especially since we were slightly more sensitive towards funny things after visiting the opposing governmental venue. There were dozens of mistakes, but for me, absolute hit was “a piece”. It was in the menu at least four times, and nearly everytime it was spelled differently. So “a piece” first turned to “peas”, than evolved tthrough “pees” and reached a soothing stage of “peace”. I’m sure I’ve clicked a picture of it, but I can’t find it now. But that’s ok, since the post scriptum to that story has been written in a momos stall just next to my office in Gurgaon. And this one I have documented.

Peace!